Whatever your opinion of hipsters, there's no reason they should run the monopoly on the cool bars, thrift stores, and cafes in town. Alternatively, if American Spirits and American Apparel are your jam, hit up these spots and you'll never have to bum a Pall Mall.
Red Light, a popular thrift store on the Hawthorne strip, caters to fearless fashionistas. Think neon leggings, borderline hideous dresses, and platform heels. If your wardrobe is more subtle than daring, Red Light is still beneficial for Halloween costume shopping or those ugly Christmas sweater parties that just won't die in popularity.
Where other cafes simply put a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window, Stumptown possesses a large mechanical claw that picks up and shakes the local modeling agency until the most beautiful people fall out, taking a long, winding slide to land in Stumptown's special barista school. Weeks later drool-inducing, shot-pulling baristas emerge behind the counters of Stumptown Coffee Roasters. While the claw-thing isn't true, the drool-thing is so get your to-go coffee with a lid.
East End hosts popular national acts (such as Ty Segall) as well as popular local acts (such as Sistafist), so on any given night it can be difficult to make your way to the bar. When this happens, head to the upstairs bar and use cash to pay. Also, it's not a bad idea to bring your own toilet paper. It's THAT kind of bar.
While getting drunk in Rontoms' 1970s-inspired den is the closest you'll ever get to the room in which you were conceived, I urge you to take your drinks out to the architecturally-impressive back patio. There, continue to sip your drink until you're filled with enough liquid courage to talk to one of the beautiful people. Bottoms up.
Walk past the tatted folks drinking at noon, smile at the accommodating bar help, and beeline it for the tasty menu. The brussel sprout bowl and BBQ tofu with collard greens are personal favorites. I just got drool on my keyboard thinking about them.