Bars for Relationally Challenged Men

I know most guys don't go for the whole, "My girlfriend just dumped me, let's go out and get crocked on Cosmo's" thing. And for good reason--we're guys. A healthy disdain for flavored drinks and movies that involve Matthew McConaughey* and/or Kate Hudson, are probably the reason you're flying solo in the first place. So, go ahead-- turn up the Bruce Springsteen and don't go with light beer tonight -- here's a list for all the broken-hearted boys to drown their sorrows without the fear of running into the one that got away.

*Spelled that right on the first try. Boo-yah.

Updated: February 04, 2010


Sloop Tavern

2830 NW Market St, Seattle, WA 98107

Maybe it's just me, but a break-up always pushes me seaward. Could be all the Deadliest Catch I watch, or something deeper-down, a primal coping mechanism, but in any case-- The Sloop is the place to get your nautical adventure fix, without--you know--dying. With an interior that literally feels something out of Moby Dick and the fact that The Sloop has been around since before Ballard was invaded by condos, this might be the most authentic dive bar in Seattle. Not to mention the pool tables, dart board, and Big Buck Hunter video game. There's no better place to celebrate your new found manhood. So belly up next to some really fisherman, get yourself some local ale, and forget that you ever agreed to watch 27 dresses--twice.

King's Hardware

5225 Ballard Ave NW, Seattle, WA 98107

There's stuffed animal heads all over the walls, video games in the back, lots of beer on tap and an old school barber shop next door. While that should be enough reasons to check this place out, I'll give you one more: killer happy hour. However, we do not necessarily condone the combination of the aforementioned barber shop and/or happy hour. Just a suggestion.

Ballard Smoke Shop

5439 Ballard Ave NW, Seattle, WA 98107

One of the few places in Seattle that still serves up Rainier beer. A warm and cozy interior, great people watching, and flat screens make it the perfect place to go when you start missing the Meg Ryan to your Tom Hanks.


Seattle's Historic Triangle Pub

553 First Ave S, Seattle, WA 98104

A Seattle Classic that should need no introduction. But we'll give it a short one anyway: TV's everywhere, close to the Seattle Sports Mecca, and more beers on tap than months together you were together with your ex. If you missed ESPN as your time as a non-bachelor, this is the place to catch up.

Hooverville Bar

1721 1st Ave S, Seattle, WA 98134

Remember all those bars you were forced to go to that looked like Ikea and Sex and the City were both rolled into one over-perfumed location of general loud-music misery? Well this place is just like that, only not at all. The rustic interior and no frills atmosphere will have your testosterone levels back to normal in no time.

The 5 Point Cafe

415 Cedar St, Seattle, WA 98121

Eat your way out of relationship depression at this infamous Belltown dive. Huge portions of good ol' fashioned comfort food will fill that hole in your heart in no time (figuratively and literally). The beauty is, once you've got your mojo back, you can head out to any number of nearby bars and get yourself back out on the market.


2222 Second Ave, Seattle, WA 98121

What guy doesn't love pinball? And beer? Well Shorty's has done us all a favor by delightfully combining the two. So feel free to take out your post-relationship angst on those flippers while taking the edge off with a few cold ones.

Capitol Hill

Elysian Brewing Co

1221 E Pike St, Seattle, WA 98122

Any place that brews their own beer is probably a good bet as a bar, and Elysian is no exception. Order up one of their ambrosial pints, and you'll forget you were ever stung by Aphrodite's arrows.

Roanoke Park Place Tavern

2409 10th Ave E, Seattle, WA 98102

If you're still reeling from relationship withdrawals, here's our cure: Go to Roanoke. Order the "Rack of Beers" (yes, that is exactly what it sounds like). Have some friends there to keep you from doing something like hold a boombox playing Peter Gabriel over your head outside your ex's window*. You'll be right as rain in the morning (or maybe shortly thereafter). *Yes, that is a "Say Anything" reference. Thanks for noticing.

Stumbling Monk

1635 E Olive Way, Seattle, WA 98102

If the name's not enough reason to check this place out, then go because because they have board games and you can bring your own food. If that's not enough reason, then go because it's small, has great beer and there's a bout a 99.9% chance that you won't run into your ex here.