18880 W Bluemound Rd, Brookfield, WI | Directions 5304543.036854 -88.147520
First – the good. If Exxon Mobile ever has another massive oil spill, Mama Mia’s garlic bread can be commissioned to soak it all up. Because based on the amount of butter these artery-clogging bricks of dough can hold, keeping pelicans safe and our water supply clean should be no trouble at all.
Now, the bad. I went there the other night with my great grandma to celebrate her 91st birthday. This is a woman who has seen two world wars, the great depression, multiple national tragedies and the rise of late 90’s boy bands. Needless to say, she is as hardened as they come. But upon taking her first bite of lasagna, I saw a look in her eyes that I had never saw before. It was part disgust, part confusion and part sheer terror. It was as if she had ingested the very essence of all that is wrong with food.
I told her to stop and that we’d order something else for her. That’s when the service became just as bad as the food.
After essentially having to fire a flare gun off to get our waitress’ attention, I asked her if we could order a different entrée. Now granted, my great grams is an angry German woman who kept yelling things like, “I ordered za lasagna, not a bowl full of grease!!” but still. Our server got extremely annoyed, as if we were preventing her from getting off her shift. Based on her neck tattoo, my guess would be she had a Maury Povich marathon she was missing.
About 40 minutes later, our merry server returns with a circular saw with some toppings scattered about. In other parts of the world, this is called a pizza. It’s one thing to serve a thin crust, but when you could use it to till a corn field, that’s another. Anyway, my grams ate a few pieces with all the zeal of a Fear Factor contestant being forced to consume a bowl full of dead locusts wrapped in bull testicles.
Undeterred, I tried one last thing to salvage the evening. I went to the hostess and asked if there was anything, “special” they could do since we were celebrating my great grandmother’s birthday. Surprisingly, she said yes. I went back and waited with anticipation. What would they do? A group of Italian tenors? A cake in the shape of the leaning tower? No.
They bring a slice of cheesecake with a candle in it.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the surprise. The real surprise was the long blonde hair resting on top. Fed up with the experience and freaking out, my great grandmother in her thick German accent, started screaming, “I WILL NOT EAT THE HAIR PIE!, I WILL NOT EAT THE HAIR PIE!!” Needless to say, it was highly embarrassing.
We won’t be returning.
Mama Mia's is to food what Tim Tebow is to the QB position. – I work in a field that requires a lot of client interaction. Brown nosing, glad-handing, pretending to laugh at their terrible jokes. That kind of thing. And it's terrible. On top of that, our company's biggest client is a real ball buster. But a powerful one. I heard that instead of bottled water, that he keeps bottles of spinal fluid from children in 3rd world countries in his fridge. Yeah, that bad.
So last week, when he was in town, I decided to try and impress him by taking him somewhere local. A "slice" of Milwaukee pie if you will (puns, gotta love em'). Anyway, this "good" idea of mine is where the positives end.
We walk in, and I'll be damned if we didn't walk into an Italian version of Chi-Chi's from 1996. Talk about dated. I assured my client that this was just part of the, "charm" while I was secretly soiling myself.
On to dinner. My client, looking with increasing disgust, orders a small pizza and I order the lasagna from our waitress, who, looked like she has at least two different baby daddies. But I digress.
Our food arrives a scant 55 minutes later and at this point, my client looks like he's about to order everyone in the place killed. We start eating and I could tell his pizza was awful. He looked at me like someone just falcon punched him in the gut, stopped eating and complained about how hard the crust was.
He wasn't kidding. Their pizza could easily be used for a frisbee if it weren't for the possibility you could DECAPITATE someone with it.
Long story short, we leave and my client was so appalled with Mama Mia's and my judgement that I took him there that I no longer have a job.
I've had to turn to living out of my 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX (turbo!) and have started a nasty little coke habit and am hungrier than a Somalian at Golden Corral. I suppose I could eat the food Mama Mia's throws away, but really, eating garbage would be less disgusting.
So yeah, thanks Mama Mia's.
used to love her... – We frequented the Sunday buffet for quite a while, but, the quality keeps going downhill. The food is extremely bland, once everything was cold and congealed, like it had been out for hours. And worst of all, the whole reason for loving MM's...the garlic bread, has gone completely downhill. It has NO flavor, and the "butter" isn't as well disguised...now it's just plain oily grease with no taste. There is no resemblance to garlic bread at all. After yesterday, we have decided to just stop going.:(
Hairy – Went there tonight with my boyfriend for his birthday. My meat sauce had a huge black hair in it... The server took about 20 minutes to come back after my very polite heads up about it and acted sorry. The punk host, however, could have cared less. I know hairs happen, but it made me nauseous and led me to question the quality of the food. Stay away.
Not even Kirstie Alley would touch this food. – True story -- Went out to eat here this past weekend. Ordered a lasagna "dinner." Ok, first thing's first, the lasagna was served up in a dish that resembles something you'd see at a soup kitchen. No offense to the homeless, but soup kitchens are free. This isn't. And besides, if you are homeless, let's be honest, you're probably not reading the internet. Now, onto the salad.
The lettuce looked like it was pulled from the ground and set right on my plate it was that dirty. And I'm pretty sure it moved more than once during my dinner. Not good. The garlic bread -- Mama Mia's claim to fame -- could have easily been used for one of those tools you use to smash your car window in case you drive into a lake or something. Ironically, this is exactly what I felt like doing after I ate here.
So I move onto the lasagna expecting maybe a hint of something that resembles taste. Nothin. I asked the server (who looked like she's one of Charlie Sheen's girlfriend's btw) to get me a carryout box so I could take it home. I get home and decided to feed the leftovers to my dog (awesomely named Tony Stark, btw) and no kidding -- my dog looked at me like (female dog name), please! and walked away. This, from a dog that has eaten his own vomit before. Not a good sign, I'd say.
Stay a galaxy far, far away.
OK food, bad service – The pizza is above average, the other food is average or better. The problem is the service is hit or miss, and often miss. There doesn't seem to be a floor manager, so if you are in "no-server-land" you are going to stay there. Ruined our dinner tonight, 40 minutes between server visits to the table is too long!
As Charles Barkley would say, "Turrble" – Just not the, "family" environment they want you to believe. They have 17-year old waittresses that look like they just walked off the corner of Kilbourn and Wisconsin. Not to mention, the food is pretty bad, too. Bland, usually cold, heck, I actually found a band aid in my spinach lasagna once!
i LOVE IT – MAMA MIA IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME AND I LOVE IT. I DON'T THINK ANYONE COMES TP CLOSE TO THEIR DELICIOUS GARLIC BREAD. KEEP ROCKING!
the bread NOT the pizza – Everybody knows that you don't go to Mama Mia's for the pizza. It's the garlic bread!!! They have got THE BEST garlic bread! I find the pizza to be pretty mediocre.
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