Portland >Bars & Clubs > Spyce Gentlemen's Club
33 NW 2nd Ave (2nd and NW Couch), Portland, OR | Directions 9720945.526699 -122.688051
Neighborhoods: Northwest District, Neighbors West - Northwest
Bad Spyces – I've rarely witnessed scenes of such outright disregard for human decency as that which filled the minutes between 10:20 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. just last night, (Thurs. Sept. 8th). The female club manager - yes, you heard me correctly; the MANAGER - actually TACKLED the only hot dancer they've hired in months, and THREW her down a flight of stairs! Let me review that so you can understand just what I'm saying: the bleach-blonde, badly-tanned female manager of Spyce actually tried to KILL one of her new dancers! The poor girl was only trying to get out the door! I will NEVER go back to this club again, and frankly, I hope that poor young thing presses assault charges!!!
Come for the boobs, leave with a bad taste in your mouth – Alright, so I came into Spyce Friday night with a few buddies, they were taking me out to celebrate me getting an huge raise at work. We just went to get some drinks, lap dances, and have fun. Well that is NOT what we got!
After ordering drinks at the bar from an unecessarily snobby male bartender, we sat down at the 'rack' which is when you sit at the stage and the girls crawl around (and on) you. We had a good time watching the show although I did see a couple of clearly under-21 stripper sipping cocktails in the main area but I ignored it. It's a strip club, not the vatican.
After an hour or so of tipping and more drinking, these two chicks came up and introduced themselves as Madison and Danika, they were your typical blonde, big titted strippers, and they started hustling me for a lapdance. Well they weren't really my type (I prefer dark hair and attractive faces) but I was pretty drunk at that point and my buddies offered to buy me a lapdance from both chicks at once, and who am I to turn down a gift?
So Madison and Danika walked me to the VIP area and I gave my friend's credit card to the host and I sat on the couch. A new song started up and the two started grinding on me and all that. Then one of them went and rubbed her boobs against my face and I realized... these are fake! The other one did the same and I felt how hard and plasticy her boobs felt... UGH! I didn't realize these chicks had rubber boobs or I would've waited for some natural girls to come along. It got worse when the girls took their tops off since I could see the big dark incision scars. Some guys might think its hot to imagine a stripper knocked out on an operating table while a skeezy doctor violently stuffs a plastic bag full of silicon into an open wound he cut into her chest, but I prefer women who were BORN beautiful.
Anyway, I decided to ignore the rubber t*tties since the dance was half over, but then I felt something hard on my leg. I looked and realized that Madison had her crotch rubbing on my leg and there was this little hard thing in her panties. I jumped up and was like "Whoa! WTF is that?" And the girl said "That's my dick". I looked down and saw both Madison and Danika had hard-ons under their stripper panties.
I thought WTF, okay, fake boobs, real dick... this is NOT my kinda strip club.
So I tried to book it and get my friends so we could leave and before I could exit the VIP area this short little rat-faced man named Matt Doss came up and told me I needed to sign my credit card bill for $50 for the dance. And I told him "No, I thought I was getting a lapdance from chicks and those are trannies so I'm not going to pay, I'm going to go grab my friends, close our tab and go somewhere else." but he wouldn't let me (not that he was physically stopping me, he was 5 foot nothing and 120 pounds of water weight) so I said "Look, let me speak to your manager" and he said "I'm the owner. You f*cking need to pay for those dances or I'm calling the cops, assh*le!" and I told him "Fine, call the cops." and he stormed off with his cellphone, pretending to make the call.
I went and got my buddies, told them the situation with the trannies Danika (real name Sherri Doss) and Madison (Stephanie Doss) and needless to say my friends bust up laughing and said "Well that explains their faces" We closed out our tab and got the f*ck out of there, but not before some big oafish bouncer named Nigel harassed us at the door.
I wouldn't recommend this place, but if you do go, I'd recommend checking the panties of the girl who want to buy a lapdance from... and avoid the ones with fake boobs. It's just too suspicious.
Do Not Accept Free Drinks...watch for roofies – My friend may have been slipped at roofie here to run up his tab. He had all the symptoms of roofie poisoning the next day. Be VERY careful to not accept drinks from the dancers!
Building from ground up – I have been to Fusion Lounge on many occassions-.Good times, great people, awesome drinks & spectacular music. A total package. Fusion has gone through many changes and many owners but new owners are making a great effort to make it the club to go to. And are doing an excellent job doing so. This is one of the few clubs in Portland on the weekend that bumps til 4 or 4:30 in the morning. Lets get the cover charge clear here. Its $5 all night-not $10. On Fridays they play a mixture of 80's, hip hop, 70's & funk until 12 then it switches to some true dance music by Evan Alexander & Hi May. If you can make it until 1:30 am you will see that this is when the fun begins and how many different varieties of people come together. YES it does get packed at this time but well worth it. Same goes for Saturday nights there. Soire promotions puts on a great party. Dj A trane starts with mash ups, top 40, R&B & Jon Gordon plays electro house late, they do a spectacular job keeping people movin on the dancefloor on Saturdays. Bartenders and wait staff are great plus the front room is recently nonsmoking.
Before you go and make a judgement as to if you should go or not by what people write hear based on 1 experience you should check out Fusion on the multiple great times I have had here. Take a look NW 2nd & Couch.
Too much for too little – I went to Fusion last night and I'm sorry to say it's craptacular! We got there before they started charging a cover, which I understand is $10. If I'd actually paid a $10 cover to get in, I would be angry and not just bummed. There is no vibe to this club, whatsoever. It seems like someone said, hmmm, how can I spend as little money as possible, give the patrons almost no value for their money, and make a crapload myself. Everything about the place screams high school prom and I guess anyone in Portland with a turntable can call themselves a DJ. Overpriced drinks, lame music with no transitions, no decor, terrible ladies room facilities, no one one the dance floor who was even on beat to the music and almost no one in the place with a sense of style they didn't get at the mall.
total new facelift at fusion lounge – come check out the new paint scheme, new sound, new lights. new furniture. just when you couldn't think this place could rock any harder it's stepped up another noch:
Thursdays Groove Nation EDM Dance party with Jon Gordon, Dig Dug plus weekly guest dj's. 9 - 430am:
Fridays Evan Alexander and Hi May 9pm to 430am:
Saturday's Soire's Sexiest Saturday night out with dj's Atrane early , Jon Gordon late:
Sundays Silicone Sundays with Jon Gordon 9 pm to 430am:
plus coming in sept, Lo Down Mondays ( drum n bass , jungle and breaks) 9pm to 430am:
danced our butts off!!! – oh wow! my girl friend and i went on a friday nite, and the dj's were BUMPIN'! and then just as they were making last call and we were getting ready to leave, people started pouring in! did not know that they stayed open until 4am for after hours...bonus! the dance floor was packed until we left at 3:30am, and we will definantly be going back. (after reading the reviews today, i'd take the advice about going to the back bar. we found it by accident looking for the bathroom)
Troy The Bouncer makes this place so Lame!! You gotta read this – Fusions owners come from ohio and started this club however they dont know the down fall of this place is going to be the bouncer. I have paid the 10 dollar cover two times at this club and have been asked to leave forcefully because the bouncer whos name is Troy has a little secret. He is a major Tweeker, I know, for a fact!
He has stolen credit cards from the club by people who have left them there so he could use them. He used to work at Ash street saloon and got fired for using way too much force with the customers. He buys and sells meth, and also is into major id theft. He has all kinds of merchant accounts, bank account numbers, passwords credit card numbers. I love the music coming from Fusion, and only hope that the owners will get the clue and look into some of the accusations a little closer.
Hot-headed bouncers! – What's with the bouncers in this place? They are rude and aggressive without provocation - especially the one near the door (not the doorman, though he's not friendly either).
unruly bouncers - don't go here! – I went there last weekend at about 2:30 after other bars closed. There
was nobody outside (no line), but the doorman insisted that I walk around
and "enter through the entrance barrier" along the sidewalk. As ridiculous
as that was, there were like 4 people inside and the bouncer inside told
me the cover was $10. WHen I asked him why the cover was that steep when
there was hardly anyone inside, he pushed me outside and told me to
"get the $#@! out". Needless to say, with out of control thugs like these
running the place, this place won't last too long.
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